2008

I don't remember the start of 2008, I remember desperately watching my brand new watch so I could see the date change but things got the better of me and the next thing I knew it was 0020 on the first of January. I told my friends it would be the best year ever and no-one sees me as pathetic anymore so that's progress. I'm not going to go through the whole entire year because that would stink.

But something went wrong somewhere and everything changed, for the better at first. These last few months have been brilliant and terrible at the same time. Brilliant because I've had some awesome times and made new friends that actually want to see me. But something's not right.

I had an epiphany, the sort of epiphany that goes something like "Why the hell am I buying this Fred Perry shirt? I have one exactly the same at home, it cost a lot less than this, you're just paying for a label you stupid bastard!". And I'm saying all this sitting here wearing an American Apparel shirt, when I've spent forever insulting them for being bland, now I'm suddenly desperate to work for them so I can get staff discount.

I was never into labels, and I was never that into getting with boys, I always preferred to long from afar. The other night was fucking brutal, I lost the last shred of my dignity in front of a former lover and some lovely girl's boyfriend cheated on her in front of a load of people.

I have become everything I hate while at the same time living out my bed bound teenage dreams. And God, I'm so poetic.
S***** is in love with C****, she really thinks he might actually like her, but the thought of me and him together must be in the back of her mind all the time and that makes me sadder than anything ever. I was always the one left out in the cold. I hate being the bitch in the triangle.

My New Years Resolution is to have a modicum of decorum. I'm not saying I'm not going to do these things, I'm just saying not where the whole world can see. No-one wants to see that shit Lois.
Also I'm going to get tattoos and listen to more techno and hardcore punk.

Peace out.