phht

Album of 2009?

2009-09-20T18:31:00.002+01:00

Just a thought. The R'n'B production is so bad it's actually great. Like a mature cheddar.

THE cover version of 2009?

2009-09-18T13:46:00.001+01:00

That Klaxons do Suicide thing but this is another level of weird.

Faris Badwan and some miserable bird from Ipso Facto do Black Lips?

They're calling themselves Lumina. It's pretty fucking creepy. No words to describe it, just listen.

iTunes.

2009-09-17T16:01:00.003+01:00

I've had this laptop about 4 months or so and my iTunes is still a sorry state of affairs. I just checked and there are 3,082 unplayed tracks, 17gb. To put that in perspective, when I got my 8gb iPod two years ago I could barely fill it.

Fuck, I feel like a massive waste of resources. I must have downloaded a lot of stuff just for the sake of it and never listened to it. I had an idea the other day, one which I doubt will ever come to fruition but I'd like any opinions of it please...
That is, to go through every song in my library and write something about it. Of course this would take quite a while so I would have to think of a methodical way of working and impose certain constraints on myself, eg not including short 'interlude' tracks (although sometimes those are my favourites) and only working on the songs in my library at that particular point in time.
The easiest way to do this, I have figured would be to make an auto playlist on iTunes- of all songs between zero and [highest play count]. I guess with nearly 5,000 tracks it would be quite difficult to keep up with it all but it's definitely something I want to do in the near future. In fact, why don't I do it right now? Where's that notebook?
I'll do a nice drawing for it and make a blog for it and everything.

NEW KLAXONS SONG?

2009-09-16T00:55:00.000+01:00

Oh my god, literally what the hell?
Klaxons – Sweetheart

Yes!

2009-09-14T15:42:00.000+01:00

As you probably know I've been an avid fan of everything that comes out of Charlie Brooker's brain since I could pick up a Guardian weekend supplement.
Today's G2 column might just be his finest work (apart from his guide to love, obviously). Illegal downloaders like me are not thieves, we're just music junkies, desperate for a fix.
I love the man. I just had to shield my eyes while he dissed Damo Hirst :'(

DRINK AND DRIVE LIVE EXPOSURE

2009-09-13T21:33:00.001+01:00

Drink and Drive are "infecting the airwaves" from 11pm tonight. Listen HERE

Ignore the Ignorant

2009-09-11T15:49:00.003+01:00

I probably haven't listened to the new Cribs album enough to merit a review but I'm bored and i I get bored words build up inside me and I end up doing something I regret. But I digress.

Ignore the Ignorant is the fourth Cribs album, and the first to feature former Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr. But you knew that anyway, right?

Despite what some people (read, boys on internet forums) are saying it doesn't sound like the Smiths fronted by Ryan Jarman. No. Although some of the riffs are distinctly reminiscent of Marr's old band (particularly the opening of We Share the Same Skies, which reminds me a lot of You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby)
the production and structure of the songs mean it still sounds very much like the Cribs.
Highlight for me so far is City of Bugs on which Jarman seems to adopt a drawl very similar to that of his old pal Alex Kapranos. Still it'll take a few listens to fully work it out. I know it will never be a patch on the New Fellas, but it's certainly an improvement on Men's Needs which despite Kapranos's production was in my opinion fairly dire.

Controversial, me?

While I'm here..

2009-09-09T21:33:00.001+01:00

NEW LOS CAMP! SONG. To be honest I've not really liked anything they've done since Hold on Now Youngster... but let's just see. Maybe it's a grower.

Dead Stars on Speed

2009-09-09T21:08:00.004+01:00

Drink and Drive are my favourite Dead Stars on Speed. They may well be the only dead stars on speed but that doesn't make this statement any less valid.

Last Friday was probably the last time I'll see them for a while. I feel rather sad about this although hopefully I will be able to make it to their Moho Live gig in November
From what I can remember it was a fitting farewell. Springtime For Drink and Drive and Greg's Fault were, as always, highlights, as was their much loved (by me at least) cover of To Hell With Good Intentions.

Like I said, my memory is hazy. Drink and Drive are great though. Drink and Drive are the future. Maybe. I'm going to try my hardest to get the good people of Stoke to love them like we do. And you should to. Or I'll beat you.

PS_Photos @facebook

My Mercury's in Retrograde.

2009-09-08T14:04:00.006+01:00

See what I did there? It's the [Barclycard] Mercury Prize tonight in case you've had your head in a bucket of water for the last week.
I'm not going to lie to you, I'm a rubbish muso, I've only listened to two of the nominated albums. You can guess which ones if you like. I should probably try to Spotify whoever wins.
Reckon Bat For Florence Roux are in with a good shot considering the current music scene. Speech Debelle seems like the good "outsider" guess too.

Personally I'd like the Horrors to win, like Klaxons two years ago they are considered somewhat of a scenester band. But the new album has gained them some sort of muso cred and now they're "ok to like". Yeah? I've always liked the Horrors, it was love at first listen (admittedly I tried not to listen to them for a while because they looked like twats). They are also fantastic live, although I feel the old material fares better than the more ambient stuff on the new album. It also seems that they're going for the look of a shoegaze band, rather than some emo pin ups (not that appearances should impair our judgement of them at all).
Still, Friendly Fires might win. Everyone likes them. Or Kasabian, though to be honest I think they should stick to their Oasis/Mondays sub-Madchester schpeil rather than growing long hair and trying to be "authentic" (take notes here Alex Turner).

Anyway, I'm babbling. Just pray that the Invisible don't win. Although maybe I'm being a little harsh. Being sandwiched between Future of the Left and Pulled Apart by Horses isn't going to fare well for anyone's live reputation.

Finally, it seems of late that this has become a music blog, although I would like to refrain from calling it that because the second I try and have a "music blog" it fails terribly. I did make all the band names BOLD like NME though, LOLZ!
And on a definite final note, none of the nominated albums are on my "albums of the year" list. More on that in a few months though, I guess.

Peace. Oh and I'll be back tomorrow because I promised a certain local band I'd review them here...

Ok to like Hardcore?

2009-09-07T14:01:00.003+01:00

I forget what the "rules" are but one is generally not allowed to like honey n sun drenched 60's girl-group-influenced soppy weak indie boy fop pop and bands with distortion pedals and choruses that go ROAAAWWWWRRRR. Or maybe I'm just a shallow minded person.

Rawr indeed. Pulled Apart By Horses @Leeds made me realise it's "OK" for me to like "hardcore", taking me back to my punk days yada yada. But actually what I realised is that it's "OK" to like them because they are the "indie" face of hardcore.
Wiki seems to believe that they are "indie rock". Which is a bit of a grey area but if it means ROCK MUSIC on an INDIE LABEL then I suppose it's right. They have released records on DTTR. Go figure, indie cred.

Anyway, shut up, Punched a Lion in the Throat is fucking basic shit.

Yeah I'm feeling totally badass t'day.

highlights of the year so far.

2009-09-02T17:15:00.010+01:00

I was compiling this list in my head on the way home from Leeds fest, so far it goes something like this:
Saw Morrissey.
Groped by Nic Offer.
Saw Radiohead.
On stage with the Black Lips.

Forget "got into uni" or anything important. And forget "relationships" or anything meaningful. All I care about is scoring lameass points. I'm so damn rock and roll, aren't I?
Anyway I found a video from the Black Lips:

Spot me. I'm in a leather jacket. Decided I want to form a scuzy "flower punk" band too. Rawwwwk.

Btw come to this plz

facebook invite y'all

Gonna be great. Says the number one fangirl. Uh oh.

An almost famous groupie and other things at Leeds Festival

2009-08-31T20:33:00.003+01:00

2009 was probably the best Leeds festival of the three I've been to. Weirdly I saw very few bands and got horrendously wasted but as a Radiohead fan are you surprised?

As I'm not anal and male I'm not going to do a blow by blow thing of everything, because NME is going to do that for you. Instead (because I'm female), I'm going to make a list of my highlights.

Wild Beasts. Awesome, can't wait to see them twice in October. New songs are sounding great live.
Aidan Moffat. To quote the man himself, he jumpstarted my serotonin. Which is always appreciated on a hangover.
the Courteeners. Because being from the Rochdale Metropolitan Borough is a reason for me to shout along to every line of some boorish lad-rock.
Radiohead. As if I need to explain. Love.
the Horrors. Mock all you want. They're sounding more and more like a great early 90's band but without the crap stage presence.
Black Lips. Scuzzy rock and roll fun and my first stage invasion for nearly five years. I'm still amazed that I managed to clamber onto the Festival Republic stage and my kissing of Jared Swilley gained me somewhat of a mention in NME (or so I'm telling myself).
Pulled Apart By Horses. Normally I'd go out of my way to avoid anything vaguely hardcore but these made me want to stretch my earlobes and scream a lot. Complete with bleeding leg. Awesome.
Future of the Left. Yet more rock. You Need Satan More Than He Needs You is on its way to track of 09. Started to make me glad McLusky finished.

This weekend has put the festival love back in me. Let's try for four next year. Yeah rocking sweet. Btw the Invisible are possibly the worst band I've ever seen.

So I heard.

2009-08-26T19:12:00.002+01:00

There's some festival going down in Yorkshire this weekend? Something about Radiohead playing?

Yeah. I am totally psyched.

DC Comics and Chocolat Milkshake

2009-08-24T13:39:00.003+01:00

New Art Brut single out today.

Although initially unimpressive Art Brut vs Satan is a pretty punchy album and this is a definite highlight. Maybe because I like comics and milkshake.
It's catchy anyway. All they need to do now is release Demons Out as a massive fuck you to the charts and fashion shops who play indie bands (that last point was mine, the girls in topshop clearly don't appreciate MODERN ART like me and Mr Argos do)
YEAH.

I need the vinyl. Student loan can't come through soon enough.

Fun times in Mossley

2009-08-18T17:08:00.004+01:00

This weekend saw the "biggest and best ever" Mozfest. For a festival with the main stage on the back of a lorry in a pub carpark in Mossley it was great (although I didn't actually see many bands and some scallies did my tent in).

Main priority of the weekend was of course to see my idols and good buddies Drink and Drive on the aforementioned lorry. Mozfest was their biggest gig to date and some lads even came from Warrington to watch them. Needless to say they were awesome, albeit probably not as awesome as narcotics led me to believe- I did at several points mention that Ben may be some sort of messiah.

I put a track on my TUMBLR PAGE for ya'll to listen to but you'll probably find it on myspace as well.

Next up were Where's Strutter?, who seem to have a massive fan following (massive for Mossley anyway) and a sound not dissimilar to the Courteeners. They've got quite a few gigs in the Northwest coming up so have a look at their page.

Headlining friday night were the Fayre. I admit that by this time I wasn't in the state to remember more than the fact that the singer looked like Kurt Cobain but the tunes on their myspace are pretty good. They supported the mighty Twisted Wheel in December so they can't be half bad.

Sunday was too cold to warrant doing anything but sitting around the fire but I did find time to finally catch the Manyanas who were as good as expected.

Like I always say, more photos are living on my flickr account so check them out (and make me look like a good photographer)

Come October.

2009-08-13T14:20:00.001+01:00

I shall be ideally placed to see Wild Beasts in Manchester and Birmingham.

HOLLA MIGHTILY.

Diane Oxberry

2009-08-12T18:59:00.002+01:00

Likes the Manic Street Preachers.

Another reason to hate her.

Yes I am with the Eddie Argos school on the MSP front, I'm afraid.

Rediscovering the glory of

2009-08-12T16:57:00.005+01:00

We are the Physics.

Kinda forgot they were good till they came up on my iTunes. They're from bloody Glasgow as well which merits me actually listening to them properly.
They were pretty good supporting Art Brut two years ago although I didn't pay much attention at the time.

I can't find the album anywhere for ages but spotify is my saviour (seriously if you don't have it by now, WTF)

We Are the Physics are OK at Music

http://www.myspace.com/wearethephysics

Hello.

2009-07-21T15:19:00.003+01:00

Just stopping by to say hello plus tumblr isn't exactly treating me well, fickle bitch.

I object to their "tumblarity" popularity rating. That is the major con, I feel that I am not getting the exposure I would like.
On the plus side it's fucking easy to do shit and looks pretty as hell.
However I also feel that it's ease of use and the apparent popularity of photo blogging has led me to be somewhat lazy with my posting.
So maybe I will be back here for now if I can suitably redesign this page...

Moving on up.

2009-05-25T17:04:00.003+01:00

After yesterdays LIFE CHANGING DESCISION to hold the other blog for a bit, I realised it would probably be easier to post this from tumblr in future, so it's over to http://phht.tumblr.com you go.

Just for the record, although it's a bit pretentios tumblr is far easier to use and doesn't get all stressy about shit like blogger does. Sorry blogger.

Morrissey and ting.

2009-05-24T21:47:00.004+01:00

He never fails to astound me, old Steven Patrick Mozza. I'm not going to give you a blow by blow account of everything he played because that's for other blogs to do. He was great and played a surprising (for a Morrissey virgin) number of Smiths songs, although they obviously lacked what Johnny Marr lent to them he still left me a bit speechless (and over excitable).

Also of note, Drink and Drive were rather fantastic, I am told they have an EP coming out in the not too distant future and a gig this bank holiday Monday. Get down there. Mclusky covers in a John Cooper Clarke accent are the way forward kids. Trust me.

Another note, this is now my principal blog, since I got tired of being branded a fickle disco cow for talking about the latest Topshop or whatever. It was hurting my fragile ego.

PS- I'd appreesh people not leaving nasty comments anon. At least thing of an amusing alias like I do.

The best band in the Oldham area.

2009-05-19T20:07:00.003+01:00

No longer does that acolade go to Twisted Wheel, or even the Manyanas.
Just come to this would ya?

Sorted.

See Power.

2009-05-15T19:45:00.006+01:00

What's cooler than Britain's best ampified rock band creating a soundtrack to a 75 year old black and white documentary film about the hardships of living on Ireland’s Aran Islands?
If the answer is "If British Sea Power do it", read on my friend.

Yes, monday sees the release of The Man Of Aran soundtrack by British Sea Power.

I have no idea what it's going to sound like so I'll leave that task until I muster enough cash to actually buy the thing.

On a sidenote I'm listening to Lindstrøm and Prins Thomas II at the Moment

Show me the way to the next Whiskey Cats.

2009-05-12T19:51:00.002+01:00

Yeah. Whiskeycats are the official best band you've never heard of. Why have I never heard of them, I hear you cry. Becaue they are from Rochdale and everything from here is doomed to obscurity.

But seriously I would go as far as to say they are the best thing from Mreater Manchester in a long time (yeah even better than the Wheel et al)

Yoiu should proabably try and catch them at Manchester's Hungry Pigeon festival on the 23rd. They're playing Picadilly gardens and it's free. Get your skinny white boy ass down there.

My New Favourite Germans.

2009-04-28T19:37:00.004+01:00

Never really been a fan on the whole Germany thing. As far as I'm aware all the do is eat sausages and have clubnights that last for days and listen to bland techno, but the Robocop Kraus changed my mind about that whole scenario.

Art Brut genuinely do have the best support bands ever. Over the years I've seen Pink Grease, Untitled Musical Project, Vincent Vincent and the Villains and We Are the Physics play with them and the Robocop Kraus are no exception.

I did feel that the BRUT themselves were lacking a little last night. The new material sounded great and the crowd was really enthusiastic but there was something missing. Maybe "Formed a Band". Maybe the one song encore was dissapointing. But I'm not complaining, I'm still covered in Mr Argos's spit and sweat so a good night all round I guess? Next stop gigwise, EPIC Whiskeycats weekender and then St. Morrissey.

PS_ photo © this guy. Not me. I wish!

say what?

2009-04-25T14:15:00.001+01:00

I never thought I'd see the day. Ronnie, world number one out in the second round. Astounding. Guess I should probably start eating my hat about the final.

Here's hoping Carter makes it at least to the semis.

Idiots

2009-04-23T18:09:00.000+01:00

Literally idiots. Look up artist Guillermo Vargas on facebook and you'll see countless groups protesting his "cruel" work in which a dog was "left to starve in a gallery".

Me, I'm a student, I love art that creates some sort of controversy so I was intrigued by this and as usual most of the controversy was in people's heads, in fact Animal Rights group Humane Society of the United States have clearly stated that the dog was in a state of starvation when captured and did not die in the gallery, in fact it escaped after one day.

The artist himself has noted that none of the so called "caring" members of the public actually tried to do anything about the dog, despite their apparent concern, clearly highlighting the hypocrisy of just about everyone ever.

There's plenty of starving animals on the street which no-one gives a shit about but the minute someone presents this fact in the public arena they are branded a sicko.

That's my two penneth. Everyone else can go away.

A cult of blog hate.

2009-04-22T20:51:00.004+01:00

I seem to have created a minor cult of ironically reading Dribblings of the Mind. you know the blog that I've posted about a few times before and perviously spammed under the guise of much loved football pundit Alan Hansen? Yeah that one.

I have nothing against her personally, might I add incase her "lawyers" or "publishers" get on my ass but her blog mightily infuriates me. She's my age but acts like she's about 12, and seriously believes that her Mighty Boosh slash fic spin off novel is going to get published. And get this, omg, she is BISEXUAL! And she's totally into gay rights! WAHEY! If there's one thing I hate it's people who bark on about their "alternative" sexuality all the time. If it's equality you want then don't go on about how it makes you different from everyone else you spastic.

Actually, fuck it, every single thing about her irritates me:
Vince goes to tell Howard about an awesome party that happened the night before, but someone had kissed Vince that night and he has no idea who.

[excerpt from forthcoming "novel"]Hey, I’m Lexi. Most of you might be imagining me as this spin-off Noel Fielding character but back up a minute, it isn’t like that, I’m nothing like the guy! You’ll find out a lot about me from reading the book SHIT REALLY?but seeing as you can’t do that yet, you’ll just have to believe me, can you do that? No.I know what you’re thinking: you’re not gonna believe someone you don’t even know, right?RIGHT! And fair play, I get where you’re coming from but if you ever compare me to Noel Fielding again, I will seriously kick some ass. I bet he can’t kick ass…I could kick his ass

I was going to edit that down but seriously every word is worth reading. Jesus I've never been this angry about a blog in my life. But maybe I'm just "jealous of her success" as she once told me. I'm sure I could muster up a teenage fanclub with I relentlesly posted about Russel Brand and Noel Fielding for two years. YAWN.

Someone who is totally into Animal Collective.

2009-04-22T19:32:00.002+01:00

So what kind of music do you like?
Well at the moment I'm into dubstep... oh and Animal Collective...Have you heard them? That song Bluish total rocks my socks.

You know what? This post sucks, I'm gonna go away and beat myself and then make it into an hi-larious comic strip.

A book what I made

2009-04-20T19:48:00.005+01:00

Here is a book which I made about addresses. It's really great, everyone in illustration thought so.
It reads left to right and down the page. You know, like you'd expect it to.
And you can view each page all massive like by clicking on them.

If I get a scanner (and acess to a photocopier) any time soon I'm gonna start making fanzines, cos that's what all the cool kids do right?

Snooker.

2009-04-19T18:37:00.004+01:00

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN BOYS AND GIRLS!

The Snooker World Championship has come to take over countless hours of my free time, not to mention the "working" hours I will spend on the BBC website. Snooker, for me is a lot like heroin.

It's a bit early to predict anything but as always I'm predicting great things for Ali Carter, god bless his socks. Mark Selby's not looking too shabby either. And if Ronnie's not in the final I'll buy the first person to notice a drink. Oh no I won't.

The Other Others.

2009-04-18T19:21:00.005+01:00

There are at least 14 musical acts that go by the name the Others. Amazing really, considering what an average-at-best film it way. Hooo!

Afternoon. Evening. Today marks the second monthly Dubstep Saturday in my house. I have found over recent months that dubstep is perfect hangover music. You know those days where the thought of another drink or (metaphorical) cigarettes makes your stomach turn and you think "did I really throw ice/eat glowstick last night?".

Anyway enough about my life, I don't get the whole dubstep phenomenon. Skream is basically autechre with a donk on it (right?) and not supposed to appeal to anyone who doesn't read some po-faced muso magazine. Right?

Jesus I dunno. Everyone and his dog has heard THAT La Roux remix.

Don't get me wrong I love a womp womp bassline as much as the next bandwagon jumper. Just not the bits where it gets all chavvy and Guy Ritchie soundtrack-esque.

Ha. Anyway, I'm thinking of picking up the old 4 string (bass guitar, douche). You know, just to enforce that whole chicks in bands cliche (and not at all to get laid)
I'll keep you posted.

The only thinkg being sadder than a groupie

2009-04-08T21:09:00.001+01:00

Is being Alan McGee

Could he shove his tounge any further up Dom's arse? I'm sure this isn't the kinda publicity they're after (I know because I totally had his phone number when I was 15 and punk-ish).

Anyway. They're back. And there's no stopping them (not with me behind them and old enough to go to gigs)

Advertising Madness

2009-04-04T19:57:00.005+01:00

Turn on the TV, right now and chances are you'll see and advert with madness as the backing tune.
Are they doing a comeback tour? First Suggs was on the Birdseye advert and now it seems the jaunty two-tone stylings of Madness are on every other advert. Or maybe I exaggerate and/or have spent far too long watching daytime telly recently.

Such is the life of an artist. I wish I could be a better blogger and provide evidence like a proper journo but it's Saturday night and I'm far too distracted reading Jonny Ryan comics. Especially since I discovered this:

I know, I'm like a trillion years behind everyone else with my whole Ghost World thang, but fuck you, mainstream masses, I'm living an alternative lifestyle here

Top Three...

2009-04-02T19:12:00.002+01:00

Things googled at 3AM:

3. Goatse

2. Goatse 2012

1. Lois Lois Lois Lois Lois Lois family guy

In conclusion, the top three things I want to see when I'm drunk and at my computer are, a man's disgusting anus and family guy clips. Darn tootin'

shock horror

2009-04-01T19:02:00.003+01:00

Either blog buzz has worn off again, tumblr is taking up most of my time or else I'm having some sort of early (at least I hope) life crisis.
I probably am. Anyway I'm sure you're all aware of the indie wet dream that is the Reading and Leeds lineup. Radiohead. I'll say it again. Radiohead. Radiohead. Radiohead Radiohead Ra...

You get the idea. I've not shut up about it all week.

I'll leave you with this, which is possibly my favourite video ever and the perfect incentive to get dorks like me to apply for Visual Communication at old GSA.

Still: OMG RADIOHEAD

Mad shit gon down

2009-03-26T18:33:00.008Z

Everyone come to this tomorrow if you're not a homo and put a bangin donk on it.

On being rumbled.

2009-03-24T13:39:00.005Z

You may remember way back in January when i post about my unessescary hatingz on a certain blog (see here).

i've spent the last 6+ months posting abuse under the guise of Football's favourite pundit Alan Hanson but judging by her recent reply, I appear to have been mightily rumbled.

I dunno how she found me out, but I have my suspicions. Guess I should get a new hobby.

PS- sorry for my recent abscence (like you care), I've been molto busy. For serious. I even got a date. Also sorry about my spelling, I have no idea to do spellcheck on my friend's macbook Epic life fail.

Staying in is the new going out

2009-03-14T19:05:00.005Z

I am introspective Lois. I spend all my time at home wondering why so many boys just aren't ready for a relationship right now.

Update on the Sigur Rós advert thing, looks like Sky HD are at it too. I'm not going to link you because if you have a TV just watch it for like half an hour.

It's all good though, I'm going to watch the repeat of a documentary about Rough Trade which I missed last night because I was drunk on German Wine From Tesco.

I love my Friday night trips to Tesco. Last night I bought a Caramac too.

Gigging it.

2009-03-11T20:19:00.004Z

Last Friday was my first gig in ages. And when I say ages, I mean, since last March. I dunno what it is, at the start of 08 I promised myself I'd go to more gigs and I did- in those first few months I saw British Sea Power, These New Puritans, Ida Maria, Umdonskulen, the Young Knives, the Metros, Team Waterpolo, the Futureheads and Does it Offend You Yeah? (forgetting a few support bands or other I'd rather not remember). But after DIOYY things sort of dried up. I should probably blame the fact that around this time my mates started turning 18, and inevitably all the money went on getting hammered.
It's not like I've not seen any bands since then, what with two music festivals and weekly band-club nights, but I've not been to a proper gig in ages.

Anyway, I took my wee brother to see my old favourites Franz Ferdinand. I realised that night that they really are my oldest favourites, I don't remember much that I liked before them and it dawned on me that I was my brother's age when I first heard the Dark of the Matinee. Odd, thinking about it.

They were on form, although I wish we'd been nearer the front (I didn't want to get sweaty becaues I went out later, typical). They probably played one too many tracks from You Could Have It So Much Better... for my, and most people's liking, when a new, or older track would be preferable. In all it was a good evening (the Soft Pack were fairly agreeable and I enjoyed the bass players face) if not slightly marred by the new design of the Manchester Academy and the fact that bloody security would only open one exit.

Well I seem to have written far more than usual and been far less offensive. Maybe I'm calming down in my old age. Just to redress the balance though have a look at this. That is definately not a worksafe link and I wouldn't click it if anyone else is in the house if I were you. Now if that's not a reccomendation, I don't know what is.

That's why Ads go to Iceland

2009-03-08T19:54:00.003Z

Remeber that Planet Earth ad a few years back? How could you forget! The tune went dun-dun-dun. Yeah you all know what Hoppípolla sounds like.

Lately I've noticed that the trend has caught on. Firstly this Centerparcs ad, that is infuriatingly one flat note away from the actual song.
And now the new Ode to a Ford whatever is all epic piano.

I'm surprised Jón Birgisson hasn't sued. Then again, with Iceland's economic problems, they'll be glad of the publicity.

Ps- Has anyone noticed how EVERYONE has twitter this week? It's like the new facebook.

Apologies.

2009-03-04T20:21:00.002Z

Yeah yeah, I been away for a bit now in't I?

Truth be told I've been busy working n shit, not having crazy sex parties in other people's conservatories. Anyway the deed has been done, all I gotta do now is wait for GSA to reject my portfolio and start planning my party lifestyle in Leeds.

I might meet a Kaiser Cheif or something.

THE BEST SONG EVER PART TWO

2009-02-21T19:12:00.002Z

THE BEST COVER VERSION EVER?!

Yes. Great film by the way. Go out of your way to see it.

Putting a Donk on it

2009-02-20T18:20:00.003Z

Everyone seems to be on about donk this week, I blame VICE of course, read their article on it here.
All these trendy london types seem tothink it's a new thing, but kids I know have been spitting obscenities over happy hardcore beats since the dawn of high school.

MC Grimzie's Sexy Nun is pretty good though, although it does reek of Goldie Lookin' Chain, who were my favourite comedy hip-hop act before Le Sac vs Pip.

Put a bangin' donk on it.

It Must Be Love

2009-02-13T16:24:00.003Z

The other week I wrote about listening to MGMT's the Handshake.

Well, forget what I said because it might actually be the best song ever and you should definately listen to it all the way through.

Whilst in Paris (the most romantic city in the world), I had a really ludid dream about listening to this song. It was weird, usually I only dream about boys I fancy.

Anyway. Go wild.
http://www.last.fm/music/MGMT/_/The+Handshake

Morrissey's Seven Inch.

2009-02-07T16:57:00.004Z

I'm sure you've all seen it.

Is that a 7" vinyl on your crotch Stephen, or are you just pleased to see me? I tell you, variations on that never, ever get old. I do hope that the seven inches are a joke and that Morrissey's weapon is immensley proportioned.

But seriously I'm sure the fecking RHCP did this already. What would Wilde say?

Masters of Puppets.

2009-02-04T15:54:00.003Z

Today I had thhe misfortune of witnessing the new Coldplay video. According to a quick google, the song is called Life in Technicolour II and is possibly one of the worst things I've heard this year. Sitars? As if Chris Martin wasn't bad enough, now he's pillaging indian culture for ideas? Is this the 70's?

From the video you might belive it is actually the 70's, but we all know that no-one back then would have made such a knowing, slick piece of garbage as this.
Hang on a second though. Didn't Supergrass do the puppet thing? And what about Interpol's Evil?

My absolute favourite puppet video is British Sea Power's No Lucifer.

I was going to mention my ongoing theory on how Coldplay are stealing BSP's ideas (take the Violet Hill video, military uniforms? retro film stock?) but life's too short. And everyone knows Coldplay are shit anyway.

As a small note of interest, Hamilton from British Sea Power collects marrionettes. That's one for the pub quiz, clearlt

Yoghurt.

2009-02-02T19:45:00.002Z

By far my favourites are Muller Light. That's not to say I don't love those Missisipi Mud Pie Muller Corners, but skinny jeans say otherwise.

The main issue I have with the genre on the whole is the tendancy to spurt on my when opened, thus leaving my clothes marked with suspicious white stains.

Just for added interest, I am currently enjoying Wild Beasts' Limbo, Panto once again after a brief period of non-interest. It really is one of the best albums of old 2008. This year I plan to listen to a lot more new bands, not to be cool or anything, I'm not 14 anymore, but because I realised that last year the Courteeners completely passed me by. And they are goddamn amazing.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=klR-9fHRnww

Like a Morrissey wi' some string

Est que la Tour Eiffel dans votre pantalon?

2009-02-01T21:06:00.004Z

Ou vous êtes simplement heureux de me voir?

iPhrase French is shit. It took me two hours to install it on my iPod (I swear the world is conspiring to make me put it on autosync) and it misses off the bilingual dictionary AND the food section? Wtf?!

Still I got some very good tips for cherchez les garcons

I can't wait for Paris

What Do I Get?

2009-01-30T18:19:00.003Z

I think Pete Shelley described teenage life better than anyone else. Maybe it's a northern thing. Almost all of their early songs describe my life in some way.

And if that's not the most emo thing I've ever said, I'll eat my pretentious French style beret.

Not to be confused with

2009-01-29T20:46:00.005Z

The new Springsteen record "Working on a Dream", the collaboration between Luke Steele of the Sleepy Jackson and pnau's Nick Littlemore is probably the best thing you'll hear this side of the new Art Brut.

Not that the two are similar in any way. Think MGMT meets Cut Copy (or pnau for that matter...). It takes a few listens but it really is a lovely, summer album.

Especially listen to Swordfish Hotkiss night, it's this year's Electric Feel (I'm holding out for the Justice remix). In fact, listen to the whole album you lazy bum. I don't think it's out in the UK yet but you know where to look.

My favourite white powder.

2009-01-28T16:41:00.006Z

And unlike the other one, it goes perfectly with alcohol
Sherbert Vodka Beer is the ultimate recipie for an excellent night.

Although don't do it on the nice rug. No-one needs that.

Comic Strip Win.

2009-01-26T20:36:00.006Z

(click to enlarge, turns out this trendy layout doesn't like big images)

I know this is ancient, but Britpop is coming back. Look at the signs.

Plus I realised that lovely silent boy from art class I might have once got off with looks exactly like Hewlett's version of Cocker. And that's as close as I'm going to get to analysing/explaining my love life I'm afriad. Boo for you.

The New Franz

2009-01-24T19:05:00.002Z

Is for the most a dissapointing record. I've only had one listen to far but the I found the vast majority of songs really boring.

Damn it, I still want Alex Kapranos's weird Greek Geordie babies.

No You Girls is a bit special though. Listen to that.

A word about the Wheel.

2009-01-22T19:55:00.003Z

I fucking love the Wheel. Twisted Wheel if you're not from Oldham.

I don't know when the album's out but I just plain can't wait. There's nowt much better than a local band people actually like.

Oh and they did that song about the Castle that gets played there every week.

This is the sound of my Friday nights, and soon it will be the sound of yours.

www.myspace.com/thetwistedwheel

"Big Issue" is bloody brilliant.

Top 3..

2009-01-20T18:48:00.002Z

...things that are better when you do them with someone else:

3) Looking at ugly people's photos on facebook

2) Guitar Hero

1) Listening to MGMT's "the Handshake", from 1.14 onwards.

That last one is something I am yet to accomplish. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who got past "Kids". Which everyone knows is their worst song

The BEST SONG EVER

2009-01-19T20:23:00.005Z

And so, this presigious acolade goes to...

Once you get past the bit that reminds you of Sly Stallone you realise that this is up there with Micheal Jackson's Beat it.

I suck at Guitar Hero. I can now officially say that, after playing it on every single console. It's not the controls, it's me. I have no rhythm.

Everyone laugh at the poor

2009-01-16T18:26:00.003Z

I've never been on a haven holiday, but from the adverts I don't think I ever want to

Butlins doesn't fare much better

Eugh. Advertisers really know how to attract clients, huh. I call these two "let's laugh at the poor". Maybe I've been at home too much this week, and my daytime TV exposure levels are too high, but these make me feel sick.

My favourite advert is the Condom: Essential Wear one. I couldn't (be arsed to) find it on youtube but you know the one I mean. The one you've never seen all the way through because you needed to take a "little break" halfway thorugh.

If I was in advertising (and mark my words one day I will be), I'd combine the forces of cheap-as-chips holiday camps and STI awareness. Come on, you all know that you're more likely to contract some sort of unpleasentness on holiday, right?

RIGHT?

The perfect accessory.

2009-01-15T22:13:00.006Z

I've been trying to think of ways to "up my game", so to speak and then I stumbled on the perfect accessory. So perfect, I can't even believe no-one else has done it before

Conversation starter much?

Remind me to go out and get some bandages tomorrow will you?

Throwing My Arms Around Morrissey...

2009-01-13T20:51:00.004Z

Anyone stay up the other night to watch the premier of Mozz's new video?

Yeah me too. I was pretty dissapointed, in the video and the song, but I've not really cared for much of his recent stuff, regardless of what the press and everyone else keeps telling me.

Give me Meat is Murder or Strangeways... over solo Morrissey any day.

I just descovered this, since youtube keeps reccomending things to me. It's probably over a year old, but I think it's rather brilliant, possibly the best Smiths cover I've heard in a while...

Oh Thom. Don't you see? Morrissey did it all first and he did it better.

Also worth a mention on that front are the Cribs, pretty good, Muse, not so good and Noah and the Whale...terrible.

That's all. For today.

Morrissey in makeup though? Phwoar! Yeah I know he's 50 soon. I've got tickets for his birthday gig an'all ;)

Girls Afraid

2009-01-12T18:26:00.004Z

I'm going to form a goth pop band and...Only joking. I love Girls Aloud.

More to the point I love Nicola Roberts.

I am totally going ginger. I don't know what guys don't like about gingers, she is smokin'. I'll get back to you, several boxes of hardye later.

Ciao.

Important stuff

2009-01-11T20:28:00.007Z

Today I read an interview with Peaches Geldof in Observer Woman Monthly. She is an awful person. What right has she to look down on a proffessional writer working for a national newspaper because they weren't born into a party lifestyle? Eugh.

Onto interesting stuff now though. I once read an article by Charlie Brooker about how he often obsessed over terrible writers (you can see it here, check out my research skills. I do exactly the same thing.

I used to know this girl on some internet forum and she annoyed me enough then but her blog is just special. When she's not writing slash fiction about the mighty boosh or making Sims that look like Mindless Self indulgance, she's giving us all relationship advice, campaigning for bisexual rights or hoping that her vegetarianism isn't just a phase.
mightybooshkittyblog
The hours I've spent there... Honestly. Brilliant. She's thinking of publishing a novel called "Romeo and Julien". Not points for guessing there.

That's it. Well important stuff right there.
Also before I go, may I beg you all for your writing talents. I want this to be a collaborative effort, because I'm just a little bit boring. Holla back, douchebags.

On gettin' this shit down

2009-01-06T23:08:00.004Z

I notice that I've got subscribers and shit now so I better up the game and quite talking about how I never get laid (which is so 2008).
I thought I should be more interesting and informative like Prancehall or Noodles and Broth. Or not, whatever.

I was dead excited tonight cos my old pal Dominic Masters of the Others was on (a repeat) of Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
I felt a bit bad for deserting them for trendier shores. I dunno what happened to them. Last I heard was they were touring in December but that never happened.

Anyway this made me a bit wired cos I'm silly and immature like that. Also I read a lot of VICE tonight which probably shows through in my prose. But I don't care. Also I never realised that Dominic Masters was so attractive. He's probably dead by now. If only I'd been older in the 853 Days.

I hope you well totally appreciated this post, in future posts will be more like this.

Reppin'
I'll be back soon with a well great post on people I went to school with soon.

[/irony]

[/seriousness]

On my epic goals

2009-01-02T23:05:00.000Z

It's great to have goals, innit? God yeah. I've wandered around for the last half a decade fairly goalless, apart from "loose that virgin shit you got going on" and "form a band". Hey I tried didn't I? But no-one else seems to care about the finer points of tweexcore as much as I do.

Anyway back to goals, since it's just been New Year, which was kinda great because I realised how much I love the shit'ole we call the North. I've made a million resolutions this year, party because I actually kept mine last year (it was "to create and keep a marginally successful fashion blog, see here). They variously included
Have a modicum of decorum (see previous blog)
Start work on my graphic novel
Listen to more techno
Listen to more hardcore punk
Start smoking (it's a social activity, as I told my new best friend Chris Castle)
Get a swallow tattoo, "because I totally do"
Get plugs
Get into Glasgow School of art

This is a massive deal to me, for a long time all I've wanted to be is a student. Probably comes from watching University Challenge a lot when I was a kid (that's an excuse for being POWERFULLY lame). I might be a year late with foundation degrees and that, but 2009 is The Year. Glasgow's one of the top Art Schools, which scares me a lot, but then I've always been one of the top in every art class I've ever been in. When my tutor at college asked me if I had any plans for university, I sheepishly replied "Yeah, I wanna go to Glasgow School of Art, but, uh... I don't think I'm good enough...", to which she laughed and asked why.
There's no real reason to think I'm not good enough, I just came away from my first term with two merits. In fact the only person who entertains the fact that I can't get in is my own mother. I always thought I was the pessimist. I honestly don't know. I went to the open day, I sat through an hour and half of Visual Communications tutors glorifying the course, spoke to the head of the course, but I still have no idea whether I'm good enough to even stand a chance.

I guess the only thing to do is start writing my personal statement, but I've still got a few days off college so I may as well sit back and watch all the Carry On films television can throw at me. Great.

2008

2008-12-27T21:03:00.000Z

I don't remember the start of 2008, I remember desperately watching my brand new watch so I could see the date change but things got the better of me and the next thing I knew it was 0020 on the first of January. I told my friends it would be the best year ever and no-one sees me as pathetic anymore so that's progress. I'm not going to go through the whole entire year because that would stink.

But something went wrong somewhere and everything changed, for the better at first. These last few months have been brilliant and terrible at the same time. Brilliant because I've had some awesome times and made new friends that actually want to see me. But something's not right.

I had an epiphany, the sort of epiphany that goes something like "Why the hell am I buying this Fred Perry shirt? I have one exactly the same at home, it cost a lot less than this, you're just paying for a label you stupid bastard!". And I'm saying all this sitting here wearing an American Apparel shirt, when I've spent forever insulting them for being bland, now I'm suddenly desperate to work for them so I can get staff discount.

I was never into labels, and I was never that into getting with boys, I always preferred to long from afar. The other night was fucking brutal, I lost the last shred of my dignity in front of a former lover and some lovely girl's boyfriend cheated on her in front of a load of people.

I have become everything I hate while at the same time living out my bed bound teenage dreams. And God, I'm so poetic.
S***** is in love with C****, she really thinks he might actually like her, but the thought of me and him together must be in the back of her mind all the time and that makes me sadder than anything ever. I was always the one left out in the cold. I hate being the bitch in the triangle.

My New Years Resolution is to have a modicum of decorum. I'm not saying I'm not going to do these things, I'm just saying not where the whole world can see. No-one wants to see that shit Lois.
Also I'm going to get tattoos and listen to more techno and hardcore punk.

Peace out.

Internet friends, friends of the internet

2008-11-13T19:01:00.000Z

For what must be the millionth time I'm going to start a new blog and this time I mean it when I say I'm going to keep it. This sort of thing is cathartic and will probably stop me from going ocd mental on everyone's asses. As you are then.
I wanted to write something about my good friend the internet and the good friends it has brought me. Because tragically I lost one of these good friends this week. For as long as I've known how to dial up a connection I've had friends over the internet. I might sound pathetic and desperate here, but before you worry yourself sick let me remind you I'm not an idiot and I'm highly unlikely to meet a man I met in a chatroom. Not that I have time for chatrooms like.
What I think I'm trying to say is god bless my internet friends. And god bless the internet itself for removing that horrible barrier of shyness which always limits my friend circles to "people in my art class". I somehow get the feeling that my other friends see these friends as a bit of a joke, which considering recent events is pretty unkind of them. We're all humans here. Yes I think even my own friends see me as a pathetic loser, desperately grasping for friends on the web. Which may or may not be true. Let's just see who reads this.

Anyway I've written way too much, I need to go and update the other blog. I hope you enjoyed my incoherent ranting. Expect more.